What is Conflict Coaching?
Conflict coaching is a process that helps individuals or groups manage or resolve ongoing conflict and enhance effective communication. Through the use of powerful questions and training in conflict management training, this for m of coaching provides participants with powerful insights...
6 Quotes that Reveal the Essence of Mediation
(You’ll especially love the last one) I’m always looking for sublime ways to explain the mediation process to prospective clients. Although strict definitions are important (link to FAQ's), I find it necessary to speak more to the spirit of … Continue reading -->
“Hi, I’m George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”
Some of you will immediately remember this line and the TV show it came from. For those of you who don’t, George Costanza was a character in the show “Seinfeld.” He was neurotic and serially challenged in…
“How about I live on Mars, and you stay on Earth? Each week we’ll exchange the children on the moon.”
This was a real exchange between a husband and wife who were mediating their divorce. They were struggling to figure out a parenting plan. Each had differing visions about how far ...
Don’t Get Hijacked by Your Automatic Behaviors
We all have automatic behaviors…those tasks we perform unconsciously with very little thought. This morning proves it. I’m sure that most of you reading this article go through the exact same routine every morning…
A New Conflict Dance
We all have automatic behaviors, and they can be problematic, especially in conflict communications. Here's how to change them.
Faced with Anger, Get Curious!
When we are faced with someone’s anger towards us, we can choose to be curious. This has many benefits, and here is how to do it.
Creepy, but Effective - The Jeff Doll!?!
An old mediation client called me the other day. He wanted to share a breakthrough in communication that he had with his ex-wife. He said that although they had resolved their divorce in my process…
We All Have Mouths...
… in conflict, we don’t always know how to use them For over 28 years, I’ve asked conflicted parents the following question: “On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the worst and 10 being the best, what…
Mediation Can Preserve Relationships, Not Destroy Them
One of the most valuable benefits to mediating a conflict is that the parties have the opportunity to not only resolve their dispute, but also to both preserve and enhance their relationship. Conflict, handled poorly, can destroy future... Continue reading -->
Divorcing? You know this F-Word!
For many years now, I have lectured at the David B. Faulk College of Sport and Human Dynamics at Syracuse University regarding the practice of mediation and mediation ethics. To get my students’ attention, I…
Divorcing? Try Forest Bathing
A few weeks ago, I was hiking on a very remote trail in the Adirondacks. Several miles from a trailhead, at the intersection of two trails, I stopped by a stream to admire the view and have a snack. I…
Why you would want a complimentary consultation
Before deciding how to resolve a conflict, a decision must be made about what process should be used. I offer a complimentary consultation to help folks determine whether mediation is the right option. …
When Conflict is Brewing, Be Proactive
Productivity can decrease significantly when key members of your business or organization have unresolved interpersonal or workplace-related issues. These conflicts can be as a result of perceived or actual employment situations, race, age or sex discrimination, business practices and/or conflicts…
What Does An Orange Have To Do With Conflict Resolution?*
Several years ago, at an advanced Harvard Program on Negotiation training in conflict resolution, my professor shared a very simple story that I have found to be useful in explaining a methodology that I frequently use in my …
Divorce Well
Recently, in an initial consultation with a couple, the husband lamented that his divorce had happened to him. When I asked him what he meant by that statement, he said that he felt powerless … that his wife had made…
Your Employee's Divorce
If you have ever experienced a key employee go through a divorce, this article is for you. The trauma experienced by a divorce often results in debilitating anxiety, overwhelming vulnerability and an inability to cope. In the workplace, this translates…
10 Strategies to Get Your Spouse to the Mediation Table
A recurring theme in my practice is the question of how to convince a reluctant spouse to participate in mediation. Here’s the scenario: The person calling me is usually the spouse who is…
How You Communicate Matters
We’ve all experienced it on some level: When we are upset or engaged in conflict, we resort to emailing or texting rather than communicating in person. In today’s world, we have the ability to hide behind our technology and “communicate”…
Premarital Mediation
The other day, a client told me that if she and her husband engaged in mediation before they got married, they would never have come to me to help them divorce. Her soon-to-be ex-husband agreed. Many of the concerns that…
Principles and Standards that Govern My Practice
Ethical Principles and Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators
All professions are governed by an objective set of ethical standards and the mediation profession is no exception. Ethics and practice standards provide integrity to the mediation process by informing consumers of what they can expect from their mediator and…
ABA Resource Section on Mediation
The American Bar Association also has a resource section that provides information about mediation: what it is, how it relates to the Law, its advantages, details of the process, which matters can be resolved through mediation and how to choose…
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